I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
