I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
