Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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