im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
