We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
