come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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