Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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