i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
