i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
