I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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