How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
