hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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