$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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