no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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