he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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