sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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