that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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