if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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