I can't watch pbs sober anymore
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
