tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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