We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
