he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
