I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
