D3 body, D1 cock
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
