that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
