I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
