I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
