I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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