FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
