I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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