I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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