my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
