So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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