Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
