Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
