..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
