I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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