Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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