If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
