i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
