I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
