I think i peed on brittanys purse
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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