I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
