I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Randomize
