apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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