Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
