Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
