What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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