Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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