Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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