her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
