so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
